Getting drunk is meaningless. Sure, it makes u happy but only for a moment and then when u wake up the next morning, reality hits u and u swear to never drink like that again. But before u know it, u see urself skulling shots down ur throat at the next party. Sounds all too familiar doesn't it?

I spent my first hours of 2011 nursing a drunken bf. Dragging him from Times Square to Upper West Side alone was no easy task. He puked on people on the train, fell over the barriers at the subway station and almost picked a fight with an African American. When we finally got home, he plonked himself on the bed while I cleaned after his mess on his clothes.

Before I went to bed at almost 5am, I thought to myself: do I have to do this all my life? Having alcohol dictate how happy or upset I am? I'm not saying I'm an angel who doesn't get drunk. I do occasionally and I hate myself sometimes for doing that not only because I know I've caused trouble to people who had to take care of me, but it's the fact that the feeling that will be left behind the morning after is just... empty. It's like u knew u had a good time but u can't quite comprehend/remember anymore.

The bf woke up the next morning and asked me what happened, how he got the bruise on his knees and aches on his jaws. It wasn't until I showed him some photos of him puking on the streets and some story telling, that he knew what happened on NYE.

Nevertheless, we had a really great celebration on the cruise overlooking the manhattan skyline, statue of liberty and fireworks. It was a good night until I started thinking about how getting drunk is totally meaningless and I'd rather spend the time and money on true happiness. I wish the bf shares the same sentiments but it's probably almost impossible as I'm sure he'd like to keep up to his manly man image. Well having to deal with so many differences as a couple is another story all together.

My first new year resolution is to quit drinking and find the true happiness that I once felt. Perhaps I need to eat, pray and love...

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